John Kerry, taking a stroll with a senior member of Congress meets a little girl carrying a small basket with a blanket over it.

Curious, he says to the girl; "What's in the basket?"
She replies; "New baby kittens" and opens the basket to show him. " How nice" said
Kerry. " What kind are they?"
The little girl says, "Democrats."

Kerry smiles, pats the little girl on the head and continues on. Three weeks later again taking a stroll , he sees the little girl again with the same basket.

Kerry says ; "Watch this, it's very cute". They approach the little girl.

Kerry asks how the kittens are and she says fine. He then says, "What kind of kittens are they?" and she replies, "Republicans."

Somewhat abashed, Kerry says, "Three weeks ago you said they were "Democrats!"

"I know," she says." But now their eyes are open".

Check out this video

http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-US&brand=&vid=c790677e-196b-4f8d-a30d-c44180154000

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. (By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.):
(P = The problem logged by the pilot).
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers).


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. (Distance Measuring equipment)
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

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Welcome!

You are among the priveliged few that will experience my extraordinary blog; or something like that. Some of my posts will be intellectual, while others will require a sense of humor. Like my mother used to say "It's not the outside of the cookie that's important" Although I'm not sure why she used to say it.

As I said, some of this may require a sense of humor. If it sounds stupid, it probably is!