What's for lunch?

English

Face it, English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

If we examine the paradoxes of english we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly.
Boxing rings are square.
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables what does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital?
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a house burn up, as it burns down?
Why do you fill in a form by filling it out?

And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

I want this haircut!

And here's a link you've gotta check out.

http://vinovo.magnify.net/video/The-Greatest-Prank-Call-Ever-To

Look out!

And who gets the fine?

I can't take anymore!

How does he turn?

Poor Tom...