Good thing he had an umbrella

Very wrong, but very funny

Redneck definitions.

Benign......................What you be after you be eight.
Barium......................What you do with dead folks.
Cesarean Section............A neighborhood in Rome.
Cauterize...................Made eye contact with her.
Coma........................A punctuation mark.
Dilate......................To live longer than your kids do.
Enema.......................Not a friend.
Fester......................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula......................A small lie.
Hangnail....................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent....................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..................Getting hurt at work.
Morbid......................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates....................Cheaper than day rates.
Medical Staff...............A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.
Node........................I knew it.
Outpatient..................A person who has fainted.
Post Operative..............A letter carrier.
Tablet......................A small table to change babies on.
Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the train station.
Tumor.......................More than one.
Varicose....................Near by

He doesn't need to breathe.

Awesome picture.

Hmm.....

Stick em up!

Things my mother taught me....

My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE..."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD..."If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP..."Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE..."What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR..."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT..."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

My mother taught me about GENETICS..."You are just like your father!"

My mother taught me about my ROOTS..."Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE..."When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION..."Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING..."You are going to get it when we get home."

And, my all-time favorite - JUSTICE..."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU -- then you'll see what it's like!"

Coworkers at their best.