How to be a Democrat

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment or hunting, but support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

13. You have to believe that Malcom X, Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

15. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

16. You have to believe that homosexual parades should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

Reasons I voted Democrat:

I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

Because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

Because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

Because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

Because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days when someone cannot get their agendas past the voters.

Global Warming

All this talk about global warming. I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I hear the politicians mention global warming. Global warming is unsubstantiated no matter how you look at it. But suppose it IS true. Here is a fact that IS substantiated. One volcanic eruption produces more pollution than man ever has. Sure we should care for the environment, but we should also be sensible.