Don't hate...... :D

I asked my friend's little daughter what she wanted to be when she grows up.

She said she wanted to be President some day.

Both her parents, Liberals, were standing there, so I asked her,"If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all those poor people on benefits." Her parents beamed, and said, "Welcome to the Democratic Party!"

"That's a worthy goal!" I told her, and continued, "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house,mow the lawn, pull weeds, sweep my drive and I'll pay you $25. Then I'll take you over to that homeless person who hangs out in front of the store. You can give him the $25 to use toward food."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless man come over and do the work himself and you can just pay him the $25?"

I smiled and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

Government

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night."

So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?"

So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"

So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people.

One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?"

So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.

Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"

So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."

So they laid off the night watchman.

Saga of Taxes

Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table At which he's fed.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes Are the rule.
Tax his work, Tax his pay, He works for peanuts Anyway!
Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat.

Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work, Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he Tries to think.
Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries Tax his tears.

Tax his car, Tax his gas, Find other ways To tax his ass.
Tax all he has Then let him know That you won't be done Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers; Then tax him some more, Tax him till He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin, Tax his grave, Tax the sod in Which he's laid.

Put these words Upon his tomb, "Taxes drove me To my doom"
When he's gone, Do not relax, It's time to apply The inheritance tax

Obama's health care plan will:

Be written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it.
Be passed by a Congress that hasn't read it (but exempts themselves from it).
Be signed by a president who smokes (and also hasn't read it).
Have funding administered by a treasury chief who did not pay his taxes.
Be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese.
Be financed by a country that is nearly broke.

What could possibly go wrong?

How to be a Democrat

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment or hunting, but support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

13. You have to believe that Malcom X, Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

15. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

16. You have to believe that homosexual parades should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

Billions

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of it's releases.

A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans. It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu asked Congress for 250 BILLION DOLLARS to rebuild New Orleans .. Interesting number...

what does it mean?

Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans(every man, woman, and child)you each get $516,528.

Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787

Or... if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.

Imagine, now $700 billion bailing out banks in the US. That's enough to fund complete medical care for every man, woman and child currently alive in theUS for 11 years!!

50 billion to bail out the auto industry???

Are all your calculators broken??

Accounts Receivable Tax

Building Permit Tax

CDL License Tax

Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Dog License Tax

Federal Income Tax , Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)

Fishing License Tax

Food License Tax

Fuel Permit Tax

Gasoline Tax

Hunting License Tax

Inheritance Tax

Inventory Tax

IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)

IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)

Liquor Tax

Luxury Tax

Marriage License Tax

Medicare Tax

Propert y Tax

Real Estate Tax

Service charge taxes

Social Security Tax

Road Usage Tax (Truckers)

Sales Taxes

Recreational Vehicle Tax

School Tax

State Income Tax

State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

Telephone Federal Excise Tax

Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax upon Tax

Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax

Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax

Telephone State and Local Tax

Telephone Usage Charge Tax

Utility Tax

Vehicle License Registration Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Watercraft Registration Tax

Well Permit Tax

Workers Compensation Tax

Income Tax

THINK THIS IS FUNNY???

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...

and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt...

We had the largest middle class in the world.

What happened?

Betting again...

I'm still watching the market and trying to buy stocks at their lowest. I have done fairly well so far, unless things dive again. I expect the market to be pulling up within the next six months to a year. Of course it's all speculation. Anyhow, here's my recent bets.

E-Trade Financial Co. @ $1.18 per share
Ford Company @ $2.64 per share
Sprint Nextel Corp @ $1.69 per share
Minrad International, Inc @ $0.11 per share
Southwest Airlines Co. @ $8.54 per share
Palatin Technologies, Inc @ $0.09 per share
Novadel Pharma, Inc @ $0.36 per share

And here's a quote for the day:

"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidise it." --Ronald Reagan

Reasons I voted Democrat:

I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

Because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

Because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

Because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

Because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days when someone cannot get their agendas past the voters.

Well on our way to socialism.

George Bush rolled over for the Demolishcrats - again. All these bailouts are like giving money to a crack addict - the problem is still there. Do they think this is going to fix things? Did we have $350 billion just lying around? No, you just went broke-r today, your kids just went into national bankruptcy, your grandkids will never know anything but vicious taxation. I've always tried to buy "AMERICAN" when I can, but from this day forward I will reconsider having another Big 3 auto in my driveway. I can buy metric, made in America by Americans that work for a reasonable wage and benefits just like I do. We just finished bailing out wallstreet for being greedy, now the auto industry for it's mistakes. If the government would step out and let the marketplace purge and restructure, we could come out of this with a healthy market. If it weren't for government restrictions and unions in the first place, the auto industries might not be in this shape. And here we go.............Congress just voted it's self a raise, Carrolton / Farmers Branch just gave their ousted DRUNK DRIVING leader $100,000 severance and ex NTX Chairman gets a years salary of over $200,000 severance unless he finds a new job in the meantime.
OH WELL! We're BROKE!

President Obama

76 days until the inauguration of Obama as the 44th president of the United States. This is major history being made and a bittersweet moment for me. The fact that we have made such progress as a nation against racism is difinately cause for celibration. However, I am still trying to stomach the issues - and his aquaintances. No one (with some common sense) believes Obama is an actual terrorist. But the fact is that he is not sufficiently repulsed by those who are. It becomes clear in his wish for withdrawal from Iraq without success, his taste for top-level talks with tyrants and his breezy tolerance of Bill Ayers. The fact that he wants to raise taxes and put my 401(k) under government control concerns me. In his claim to have "offered spending cuts above and beyond" the cost of his proposals. Obama is one-upping himself: When he accepted the Democratic nomination, Obama said that he would "pay for every dime" of his new programs with spending cuts. Independent budget experts say that Obama's proposals will increase the already swollen federal deficit substantially. Obama's tax and spending proposals – in the unlikely event that Congress enacted them unchanged – would add anywhere between $262 billion and $316 billion to the federal deficit in 2013, the final year of the next president's first term. We need tax breaks for ALL companies, so that they can free up capital to grow and create jobs, the exact antidote to a sluggish economy. I have a hundred more issues with him, but he will be our next president, so I can only sit back and hope for the best.

Reminds me of our government.

There is an old story of a scientist who studied frogs. One day, the scientist put a frog on the ground and told it to jump. The frog jumped four feet.
So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with four feet, jumps four feet."
The scientist continued to cut off each leg, logging "Frog with three feet, jumps three feet.", "Frog with two feet, jumps two feet." and "Frog with one foot, jumps one foot." respectively. Then the scientist cut off his last leg.
"He said, "Jump frog JUMP!"
So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with no feet, goes deaf."

Spin it

I am sick of watching politicians scare people into endorsing laws that they do not understand. You can spin anything to make it sound bad. For example, there is a substance that:
1. can cause excessive sweating and vomiting.
2. is a major component of acid rain.
3. can cause severe burns in it's gaseous state
4. inhalation can kill you.
5. contributes to erosion
6. has been found in cancerous tumors
Should this substance be outlawed? Of course not - it's water. Too many people do not get all the facts and are easily duped by politicians. We need to get rid of these politicians and vote in some real leaders.

Immigration and America

I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. What about the rights of those who were BORN here? God is not some Christian, right wing, political push. Rather, it is a fact that Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. God is part of our culture. We should accept your beliefs, and not question why. All I ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us. We also speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. If you want to become part of our society . Learn the language! Immigrants, not Americans, must adapt. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU chose.

Drilling

Why is it that so many people think drilling is not the answer to high fuel prices? The US has more proven oil reserves than any other nation. People say we will just be postponing the inevitable. Yea, let's run our economy into the ground so we can hurry and get electric cars. We will be postponing nothing. There are already strong efforts being made to produce alternative, and energy efficient commodities. So why not drill now, lower fuel prices, and save our economy for the time being until we get fuel efficient. I am all for fuel efficiency, but let's save our economy and learn to save fuel.

Global Warming

All this talk about global warming. I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I hear the politicians mention global warming. Global warming is unsubstantiated no matter how you look at it. But suppose it IS true. Here is a fact that IS substantiated. One volcanic eruption produces more pollution than man ever has. Sure we should care for the environment, but we should also be sensible.

Government Handouts

I am sick of all the promises the presidential candidates have been making. All these handout programs need to be stopped. The government needs to stop creating poverty. Welfare and other such programs only offer an incentive to be lazy. Government should provide a program that would offer these people government jobs, according to their skill level. Compensation could be housing and food, and some amount of pay based on work participation. These people need incentives to get somewhere in life, not incentives to rely on handouts.

Our Oh So Great Candidates

As you may have guessed from the picture, I'm not too fond of any of this election's candidates.